


turning saints into the sea

by rosewitchx



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Depression, S5 spoilers, Self-Hatred, Short One Shot, Spoilers, Steven needs therapy, actuallty they all need therapy, title from mr brightside
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 19:23:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15201737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosewitchx/pseuds/rosewitchx
Summary: Blue Diamond's grief was crushing, all-encompassing. It was heavy and the second the wave reached Steven's Gem, he recoiled and found himself on the ground.or- what went through steven's head during that tiny bit in "reunited".





	turning saints into the sea

Blue Diamond's grief was crushing, all-encompassing. It was heavy and the second the wave reached Steven's Gem, he recoiled and found himself on the ground.

It felt like when he'd been grounded from tv. It felt like when he'd found out about Pink's shattering and all the lies his mom had told. It felt like when Pearl talked like she was nothing, or like when Amethyst had lashed at him, or when Garnet unfused and he'd blamed himself over it. It felt like when he stared into the mirror after he got back from the Zoo, and staring into the mirror he'd realized how much he loathed this life, this destiny. How much he loathed himself.

And it suddenly all felt like too much. Suddenly he felt exhausted, and the tears that burst from his eyes weren't from Blue's grief, but his own despair.

How could it ever get better? How could have he fooled himself into believing that? Everything was awful, lies and war and death and tragedy, and everything felt impossibly grim.

But Lapis stood still. 

And Steven watched.

She wiped the tears from her cheek, expression painfully determined, and stared up at Blue Diamond.

And through the darkness, Steven heard her say: _"I've felt worse."_

**Author's Note:**

> can we talk about how steven is burying all hs feelings again and how he probably needs a lot of therapy  
> also  
> LAPIS YOU BADASS MOTHER FCKER


End file.
